So, this is sort of week ten, sort of not. But this will be our last week for blogging, so enjoy it!
I just attended a high school graduation on Thursday night...and then drove to Sacramento to watch another high school graduation on Friday night. It was fairly torturous. The key feature in common among the speeches of the students and faculty members here and there was a simple notion: each and every individual is special and unique and a winner in every way.
Have we gone too far in pushing self esteem?
If so, at what cost?
How will this generation deal with its inevitable failures?
How does a civilization find a balance between valuing all human life and heaping on piles of unmerited praise?
What say you?
I'm watching a Spanish dancing show. The audience cheers at the dancers and yells out for a 10. The judges sometimes get booed for saying something negative. The judges have different personalities some are really nice and some are mean but sometimes one needs to hear those criticisms to become better. There are people that are better than others at certain things. It is not a bad thing to not succeed at absolutely everything. In a communication class, we would have to say something good about the speaker but also point out what they did wrong. The speaker, for example, didn't speak loud enough, made no eye contact, or wore the wrong attire. But it's okay, because everyone took the advice and tried to do better next time. This topic also reminds me of a scene on Parental Guidance. The Grandpa goes to watch is grandson at his baseball game. The kid is small maybe 6. I'm not sure of his age, but the grandpa gets angry when there are no strikes out. They get to bat until they hit the ball. No one loses and it ends in a tie. Grandpa isn't happy and says those are silly rules how are kids going to learn. I do think building up a child's self-esteem is important. But people with really high self-esteems can create a generation of quitters because they are offended by a negative remark and walk away. They are people with no motivation because they feel entitled to be praised for everything that they do. I’m not sure if we are pushing really high self-esteems. I myself, I feel I lack a bit of it. Peers, parents, teachers, family can influence and shape our self-esteem. It is important to hear about our strong qualities and weak ones too.
ReplyDeleteI loved Parental Guidance! It was the funniest movie of that year. So I see where you are coming from with the 'generation of quitters' remark. Baseball without keeping score is dumb and so is the whole 'no discipline just use your words' thing. But I still think positive re-enforcement is better than negative.
DeleteI agree! People need to be taught to cut some slack for themselves and others, as well as give and take constructive criticism. If not, they will not succeed in the real world and people will not feel that they are easy to work with or get to know.
DeleteI think constructive criticism is important. People should know and accept flaws and try to make them better. Not being accepting of constructive criticism and not learning from it to better their flaws will only hinder them in the long run.
DeleteI liked Billy Crystal's reaction. I just watched it on YouTube as I did not see the movie. That is exactly what our generation needs... more losers with constructive criticism.
DeleteI liked the movie Parental Guidance. It deals with issues some kids go through such as bullying, imaginary friend, pressure, lack of confidence. It's a great movie.
DeleteIn the Scene they played it that way so the kids wouldn't get their feeling hurt and everyone would be winners. But that just gives them as false sense of the game and how the real world really works.
Having high self-esteem is very important when striving for success. In this age of technology and social media, people are constantly comparing themselves to their peers and celebrities. Facebook and Twitter is a daily/hourly reminder of what other people are doing that you are not. Kids graduating from high school are leaving a structured environment that had rules in place to keep them safe from the struggles of being an adult. Now that they are 18 years old and graduating, those safety nets will disappear. These teachers, counselors, parents, and any other adults in their lives have a responsibility to prepare these kids for the adult world. And the key to getting things accomplished in the real world is mostly confidence and decent self-esteem. If you do not believe in yourself and try new things, you will never grow. If you lack confidence in the possibility of your success then, odds are, you will not succeed. I do not think that you can ever really boost a kid up too much. Knowing that someone else believes in you can be the factor that gives you the strength to keep trying. Failure is inevitable, but if you know that success is an option than it does not hurt nearly as much.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I feel the importance of constructive criticism, I have to agree that in modern times, there is sometimes a lack of the proper type of motivation to be better. In order to become a better person, employee, or student, it really helps to know that you are valuable.
DeleteThis is very true in a world where we are all just another number and replaceable at any given moment. I believe that even when a student isn't the best they should be given motivation through positive reinforcement.
DeleteI attended two graduations this last month. One of my little brothers graduated Bakersfield College with his AA degree and the other graduated high school. I definitely agree with what Dr. Schmoll said regarding the pushing of self esteem in the content of the speeches given. Honestly, instead of telling the graduates that they are all amazing, great, and winners no matter what, there should be a more sincere discussion about what it takes to be “great”. “Great” people are willing to change in the event of failure in order to better their own life and the lives of others. Because of speeches like these, kids grow up with unrealistic expectations of what others will and should feel and act towards them. Instead, kids should be told that though there will be times when they will fail, and that “great” people come out of these failures and become better people because of them. Many individuals believe that they are entitled to be treated kindly and respected by everyone, no matter how they act to others. Sadly, in the real world, not everyone will treat you with respect. Truly great people will treat others with respect and kindness no matter how they are treated in return. Along with this attitude of entitlement, graduates are being trained to feel that they are winners in every single way, causing disappointment in themselves when they do fail. In reality, everyone has qualities AND weaknesses. No one is good at everything, and instead of having a false sense of greatness, it’s important for individuals to realize that it’s okay for others to be better at things than they are. Instead of competing to the point of destruction, people should find what they are good at and focus instead on these qualities.
ReplyDeleteI agree Emily, many times growing up I was told that if you respect others they respect you back. I learned the hard way that not everyone will treat me with respect. Nevertheless, I still respect everyone and just tell myself that they might be having a bad day.
DeleteDefinitely. We're supposed to be kind people in order to be a light in the world. Instead of acting kind in order to get something in return, people should act kind simply because it's the right thing to do.
DeleteI think it's very important for a person to have high self-esteem, especially for this generation. This generation has the internet and social media for people to compare and say how their lives are and how they should be. I sometimes see on the internet people putting other people down. In some way, putting people down helps their self esteem while destroying someone else's. Putting people down is not the answer to help boost up your self esteem. That would cause more and more people to have low self esteem or no self esteem at all. I wish that at my high school graduation, the speeches were about how to help get your self esteem higher or to understand that you don't have to be perfect . It was all about, "You guys are great in every way". I think speeches should help motivate people, not give them false hope or a fake answer. The speeches should be about that people will make mistakes and you can't avoid not making a mistake in your life. I think we haven't pushed self esteem enough because back then when there was no internet or social media, peoples' self esteem was lowered only by their family, friends, co workers and classmates. Nowadays, the internet and social media is making lowering self esteem a lot more common and worse. This generation has to realize that nobody is perfect and that you will go through a lot of failures in life. This generation can learn from those failures and rise above it and not ask "Why?". There should be a balance between giving a person praise and constructive criticism. You should only criticize someone based on a performance of a task, not on their personal life. This generation should realize that it's ok to make a mistake and that they should learn from their mistake and rise above it. Do what's best for you and not for everyone around you.
ReplyDeleteHaving a low self esteem is dangerous. People do need to have confidence in themselves. Encouragement I believe is always good.
DeletePeople do need a good self esteem to go through the difficulties and struggles life can bring. Mistakes and failures are inevitable but one can recover from them and continue to move on.
I completely agree. The new technology is not only a benefit but it brings negativity as well. That's why we see a lot of cyber bullying and cat fishing that make people insecure, but in many in cases of cat fishing it elevates someone's self-esteem until they found out that the person they were in "love" with was really not who they expected.
DeleteI think that graduations should definitely be a time to celebrate and be over joyous about your own personal accomplishment. Even if the comments seem way too generous. I mean, most of us in college right now have only seen the world through school. We haven't experienced much of what the world can offer yet and now we have taken a huge step into exploring what the rest of the world has to offer, for better or for worse. I think in a lot of ways our society does push self-esteem a bit too much because if we continue to think that we are always doing something right and to always be happy then we inevitably avoid the reality of what is around us, which isn't always full of rainbows. Sometimes it's good to have have mixed self-esteem because it gives us the ability to be level headed about a given time. I know that when I'm too high about myself I tend to forget about my flaws and what I must do to become a better individual. If I don't have days where I'm wondering what I'm doing with myself or any of those type of downer days then I honestly don't believe I'd be able to make me into a better me, if that makes any sense. In general I believe that graduations should be a time for celebration and over joyous speeches even if it raises people's self-esteems to previously uncharted heights. High self-esteem is a great thing to have but everybody should keep in mind that there is always a time and a place to be positive and negative. Don't always be one or the other.
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree. I think people should be more level headed and more realistic. Having too high or too low of self esteem is not good for anyone and giving unrealistic praise is not either.
DeleteI agree. People's self esteem shouldn't be too high because they would think that they are just perfect and don't make any mistakes. People should understand that it's okay to not be perfect.
DeletePerfectly stated Michael, I am proud to be graduating in one week. I hope the graduation is full of self esteem boosting speeches and thoughts of celebration. There is nothing wrong with over joyous statements after all the work we have done to accomplish a degree. Not everyone does it and it is something to celebrate.
DeleteAbigail: Congrats on graduating! I'm super jealous haha. I still have another year or two to go but I wish an awesome graduation for you! And exactly. You've been stuck in school for a majority of your life so far and graduations should absolutely be full of moments that raise your self-esteem. it's a hell of an accomplishment. There's a lot of people around the world who can't even go to college and earn the education that we get. If we ignored these accomplishments and treated it as an everyday thing, well, then why even have these ceremonies? Everybody should have a boosted self-esteem prior to going out in the real world after college, in my opinion. Get prepared for what is to come and chase your dreams, right?
DeleteAlison: Exactly. When people lean too far on one extreme it really gets in the way of what the right decision should be. When somebody thinks too positively about themselves then they ignore what they're doing wrong. When they are too down on themselves then how do they know they're actually doing good things? If we can find a happy medim between high and low self-esteem then, yeah, I believe we can receive and give praise when it is necessary :).
Kris: Yup that sounds about right. I know a few people who believe that their way is the ONLY way and that they do absolutely no wrong. That type of attitude, in my opinion, is only going to cause more harm than good for that person and the people around them eventually. You have to realize that people make mistakes and that's OK. You have the ability to fix it, get better, and move on. It's when we get stuck on what we did wrong and believe we can't change that our self-esteem becomes a problem. But yeah, I think there is a time and a place for high self-esteem (like graduation), but overall it should certainly be kept in the middle :)
I believe that people do receive a lot of praise for things, especially things that do not matter. I feel that because of social media, people expect others to praise them for unimportant things. I have seen many times such things like taking a good selfie, bragging about where someone is going on vacation with his or her bestest friends, or posting pictures about how their mom and dad bought them a super expensive car, just because they felt like it, getting more "likes" than someone who has actually done something good in their lives. However, when it comes to things like graduating, getting a job, getting into college, etc. I think it is important to show the these situations in life praise. When a person is shown praise where he or she actually deserves it, it would mean a lot more and perhaps make him or her want to try harder to get that same praise again. When the failures come, because they always do at one time or another, if the person has not already dealt with one, he or she will realize it and hopefully learn from it. From failures people will truly grow. I don't think people should stop praising others simply because they are afraid of failure, but they should stop praising of unimportant events because it will push their self esteem too far.
ReplyDeleteI agree graduation is a bigger accomplishment in life. I also feel that we grow from our failures and we are not perfect.
DeleteI agree. We shouldn't praise people on everything. We should praise them mostly on big accomplishments, such as graduation. We just need to have a balance between praise and criticism.
DeleteI believe for the sake of the graduation ceremony it is expected for teachers, administrators, and students to praise their graduating class. I mean it would be really awkward if the principal of the high school began saying negative comments towards the students. Graduation should be a time of happiness and a sense of accomplishment. The students have worked hard for years and i think they deserve all the praise that they receive from anyone. In reality, they can take that positive advice and maybe it will change the way they live their life. The issue is those that cannot handle failure and negative advice that impacts their self-esteem. Someone with low or high self-esteem can both take failure the wrong way. People can should take what they learned from their failures and improve on them, but there are others that seem likes its the end of the world. I think it takes a strong person mentality to balance failure and success. Knowing that you cannot always be successful and that failure inevitable takes a lot of inner strength to overcome. Eventually when that person understands this they will be able to disregard any hate that they receive because they know who they are as a person.
ReplyDeleteI agreed! High school graduation is a life changing moments in life because the students are finally able to go and shape their future and it should be full of positive comments.
DeleteI believe and support the phrase that "each and every individual is special and unique and a winner" but not in every way. Self esteem that is based on praise is empty and shallow. You know when someone is flattering you and when someone is giving you a genuine compliment or edifying you. There is a difference. If my daughter works really hard and prepares for a speech to deliver at her FFA banquet, it is important that I encourage her persistence. We need to value the process much more than the product. I am a recovering perfectionist and have long held the mindset that if I can't do it perfectly I don't want to do it (not a beneficial attitude for a college education). When we praise children and adults alike, we reinforce the idea that if we look, think and act a certain way others will like or accept us. It is often through difficulty and struggle in order to uncover our potential. Most of us learned to walk, talk, and read because we struggled and persevered. This can help each of us discover our own strengths and weaknesses. When we give out empty praise, we run the risk of asking others to pretend or hide their flaws and to be perfect. When we encourage based on actions and hard work, we are reinforcing that it's all ok. Strive for excellence and not perfection. This does not mean I believe we don't need to be encouraged. I need to hear what I am doing well, where I am struggling and who believes that I can continue to grow. I hope I never stop learning, that I always want to understand more than I do today. I also hope that I will always take the time to see others and build them up.
ReplyDeleteIt's been so great reading all of your blogs. Thank you for making it such an interesting Quarter!
Yes, you are right, Jessica, there has been some excellent writing on here this quarter!
DeleteI myself wouldn't want to hear an empty praise. I want people to truly tell me they are proud of what I did. It is hard sometimes to hear the truth "that I did not do as well or that it is not going to be easy". They are things you don't want to hear or it might scare you but its important to keep striving to do better.
DeleteThe process is important because you get to learn along the way the final outcome might be a great or maybe not so great. I too hope to continue to learn everyday.
I agree with you about there being a big difference between someone flattering or complimenting an individual. It's like telling someone who just gave a speech "You looked great up there" or "I enjoyed the comparisons you made about two distinct topics in order to convey your message." I'd much rather hear the second comment than the first, because it's more specific and it is something I can take with me and apply in the future.
DeleteWhen I read the statement about every individual is special unique in every way, I had this idea in my head that if everyone thinks that they are good for themselves, then we are creating a society that is more separated and egoistic and unhealthy. Pushing self-esteem so people can feel good about themselves is a normal part of life that anyone needs once in a while. I am not against the act of praising on self but I just realized that being “okay” and “special” in your own way has two sides to it. Usually people use this to make themselves feel good when they can’t identify themselves in the same level that models or other highly praised individuals are in, and that is okay because it’s okay to not be very attractive or very charming. However, I do not like that some people say this as an excuse for maintaining a habit or lifestyle that is not productive or healthy. Specifically I am talking about people who are overly obese to the point of developing diabetes, yet continue to eat unhealthy foods. Some of the people who live like this would like to become more healthy and I respect that but there are other people like this that say and confirm to the idea that they are not meant to be skinny and are “unique” and “natural” how they are. This may be true as some people are born bulkier and with more fat than others. However for the people who have become this way because of unhealthy eating habits, what message are they sending to the public? More importantly, what are they saying to the children, and how is this influencing their perspective about themselves as well? My fear is that people who are “special” as they are will also influence their children to conform to being “special” someday. I take concern over this because I am very interested in health and specifically how children are being influenced to think about it these days. If children are fed healthy foods and still are husky then I would say that being “special” is okay.
ReplyDeleteWhen I coached Special Olympics soccer some kids needed more praise than others because of their uniqueness. I agree that some people are indeed special in their own way. Sometimes people do have unique situations and one player is praised more for just kicking the ball in comparison to the star player that makes all the goals.
DeleteI agree. I used to coach an elementary basketball team and the majority of the kids were new to the game, but a couple more decent for their age. The students that were new i made sure that i would never compare them to the "experienced" players. For the reason being that, it could affect their self-esteem and it can affect the way they play on the court. I just told each and every student to try your best and learn from each other's mistakes.
DeleteI believe that the key features that is common among the speeches of students and faculty members in graduations is to push self-esteem. I think it is appropriate in graduations because it would be rather sad if speeches were negative. When it comes to pushing self-esteem in graduations I think it hasn't gone too far and it mostly encourages graduates to get out their and conquer the world. We are all special and unique in our own way. Also each single one of us will carry out our lives differently. Some will come in contact with failure and it will affect us differently. For others it might motivate us to keep going and not to give up because we learn from our failures. While others will need a push to continue after a failure or give up entirely. I grew up in a generation where these type of speeches were given in high school. While in my situation I deal with inevitable failures fairly well. Of course it still affects me, but I pick myself up and grow from them. When it comes to pushing self-esteem in social media I feel that at times some people get praised for no reason. This is when too much praise get to to peoples head. Of course there should be a balance to praise people to raise peoples self-esteem. I feel that when people are doing a good job at work they can be praised. The hard part is finding a balance between valuing all human life because everyone has their opinions and they make sure they are heard.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that every individual is unique and learn in different ways to be successful.
DeleteI am not looking forward to the boring commencement speech this year at my own graduation. Poor public speakers touting how students are special and unique. I would rather sleep in. But if my family wants to celebrate me walking then I will do it for them. Our culture creates an environment where everyone is special and everyone is a winner. For a game to be played there traditionally has to be a winner and a loser. People need a dose of reality and fear to help our generation from being overly content with accomplishing little. Failure is a good thing. Failure inspires us to try harder or at least it should. I think people forget, or don’t know, that Thomas Edison didn’t improve upon the light bulb on the first try or that Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Lincoln failed as a lawyer and businessman before becoming president. More people need to lose at life before they find what it takes to succeed in their chosen path. I think instilling within our generation a sense of motivation from failure is better than telling everyone they are a special snowflake. It is time for more people to start losing and realizing that they are just like everyone else.
ReplyDeleteYou should get a bumper that says, I am a Special Snowflake. That is a great line!
Deletehahah "More people need to lose at life"… I don't know. I see quite of few people who are losing at life, whether they acknowledge it or not .
DeleteI agree with Dr. Schmoll's idea about the bumper sticker! haha & I agree with you about failure being motivational. It may not seem like it in some instances, but I have always believed that there is something to learn from our failures/mistakes, achievements, etc.
Deletei really like this post. Failure should not mean that it is the end of the world, but it should be a learning experience or a motivation factor that keeps you striving for your goals. Yet, i think too much failure could result in low-self esteem which is not what should be happening.
DeleteI think failure can be motivational, but yet everyone is special and unique in their own way. I don't fail the same way you fail and I don't succeed the same way that you succeed, therefore, that makes me unique. Just because we realize that we are unique, does not necessarily mean that we don't accept our failures and disappointments. The special snowflake for sure makes me laugh though.
DeleteThere is a unique balance in giving too much praise and not having enough praise. I have danced all of my life and have lived in a world where you are never good enough. In junior high and high school, I was badly bullied and by the end of high school I completely hated myself and thought my teachers just felt bad for me so they gave me compliments. As a future teacher, I think it is very important that my students know they are special and valued. I think that being a winner and the best at everything is taking it a little far. We are all special in our own unique way…that is what makes the world go round. We should not take that away from anyone. I am very much for encouraging and making sure every student feels special because I would never want anyone to hate themselves as much as I did growing up. Self-esteem is a very important subject to me. Dealing with failures is a part of life and I don't see using positivity as a bad way to deal with it. Of course you have to make sure that you are not coddling a child, but I am all for positivity and high self-esteem.
ReplyDeleteThis generation is totally obsessed with being unique and different. Being the rebel has always been a concept idealized in society and right now the fad that supports becoming the rebel is to be the “loner”. This new fad encompasses anything that is opposite of the usual societal norms of extreme beauty expectations. This means if you’re un healthily over weight, nerdy, depressed and socially awkward, you have over a million people on face book writing about how you are so beautiful and anyone who disagrees is and ignorant asshole. I personally don’t have enough words to describe how much I want this fad to end. This wave of over acceptance has opened the door to people making excuses for their attitudes and underperformance by telling a sob story and blaming your shortcomings on the fact that you have been stereotyped or are dealing with emotional “trauma” that no one could understand. This fad makes it easy for someone to place the blame for why his or her life is so unfair on an overly harsh society.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. I have a friend that always use a sob story to get what she wants. She loves when people feel sorry for her. I always try to remind her that she doesn't have to live in her story, and she should do something to grow from it.
DeleteI understand the point you are trying to make, but I also completely disagree with you on some points. My story is a "sob story", but I have used my story to kick life's ass and to help motivate others. Yes I agree that you shouldn't wallow in self pity, but I also think that sometimes we have to go through low points in order to reach the high points in life. Sometimes we need an encouraging words or support or whatever. In theory, your Facebook friends, should be people you care about. When I see those posts, my heart hurts for those friends. I feel like people's stories shouldn't be used as an excuse, but there should be some sort of sensitivity to the issue because if you have never experienced being the loner or being depressed or fighting an inner demon, it is hard to be sensitive.
DeleteI’m going home to my hometown tomorrow night to attend my brother’s high school graduation and I am beyond excited to see him walk the line. However, speeches are not one of the things I look forward to because it takes forever and they are basically saying the same thing over and over but in their own words. Yet, I understand how this high school graduates feel. They are overwhelmed with happiness, tears of joy, sadness because they will be separated with their high school friends or sweethearts and celebrate with success. Students who are given the opportunity to speak in front of hundreds of people give them to have a high self-esteem which prepares them to be more confident in the future. Failure is a part of success. We learn from our mistakes and I am positive that most high school students also had failures which helped them succeed. These speeches might not be meaningful for the audiences, but for them it is because I’ve been there. However, it is good to have a high positive self-esteem, but they should also know their limits for the fact that it might ruin it for everyone else. Having self-esteem and confident and failures are a part of success. Praising the high school graduates is good thing because it is a first step into adulthood.
ReplyDeleteI think it’s important to promote a high self esteem in adolescents, but it should be done in a manner that educates them, first and foremost, about the importance of being able to earn the praise and glory that will eventually lead to a high self esteem. Rather than repeatedly telling individuals that they are special or winners in every way, it should be stressed that in order to achieve such high praise, they must earn it by working hard and through perseverance. In addition, it should also be acknowledged that there will be failures that one must work through in order to go on with life and potentially succeed as a result of what one might learn due to failures. By filling the minds of today’s generation with unmerited praise, I feel like we are taking a risk that can either lead to successfully promoting self esteem that will enable individuals to succeed in life or give individuals false expectations about their futures. There really seems to be a fine line here that must be dealt with.
ReplyDeleteI agree. By stressing perseverance and hard work on individuals, other less favorable qualities such a feelings of entitlement on individuals will be diminished.
DeleteI also think it should teach them but at the same time help them. No one should just be handed anything but work for it.
DeleteA good amount of self-esteem is healthy and downright necessary to be successful in this world. However (and this is a huge however), I cannot get on board with showering a kid with praise for turning oxygen into carbon dioxide while doing something they're supposed to be doing, like graduating from high school. "You're Perfect and Other Lies Parents Tell" is an amazing book that goes into detail about the dangers and unintended consequences of spoiling children and boosting their egos too much. In this book, the author mentions that some business are even hiring "praise teams" to reinforce their young employees' work behavior because they are accustomed to being validated regularly. Instead of hiring adults, businesses are being strapped with large children incapable of writing their names without expecting a pat on the back afterwards. Yes, celebrate the milestones of life and recognize the achievements of children, but make sure it is proportional to the accomplishment.
ReplyDeleteThat books seems interesting. It sounds so true. My work have a bulletin each month to praise our employees; however, a younger coworker of mine still complain about not appreciated (which I think is crazy because all she does is sits there, taking selfies and posting it on Instagram).
DeleteI feel that by having high self-esteem individuals are most likely to accomplish daunting tasks as opposed to individuals who do not regard themselves as highly. Although, like with everything else, just as there is a positive to having a high self esteem there is also a downside. By feeding individuals, especially growing children and adolescents with undeserved praise other issues might arise such as feelings of entitlement. This might lead to arrogance and individuals inadequately dealing with failure. However, this might lead to individuals becoming empowered and successful with out having to belittle anyone else. Perhaps everyone is special in their own way, and whether they are aware or not, by having individuals earn praise and compliments as opposed to just receiving without any merit, it will lead to even more successful individuals in the way they not only accomplish great things, but also feelings of self-importance and egotism will be diminished.
ReplyDeleteI agree. High Self esteem can be a double edged sword; it can be helpful and can also be hurtful.
Deleteself esteem just varies with a person, either they will use it to their favor, or it will make things difficult for them
DeleteSelf esteem is highly important, but sometimes it has gone to far. Taking the high school graduation as an example, those speeches does not really help future adults to see what it is really like in the real world. They sugarcoat how life is going to be. I remember mine was something like- first you go to college, you get a job, and you will have a good life. If only I knew that college will sometimes be a struggle. You have to actually work hard to get a good grade, not like high school, where you just be there to get a grade. You also have to have networking skills to obtain that job because let's face it, there will be many applicants applying for the same position, and you have to think of a way to stand out. Being eager to ask questions is also highly important to recent high school graduates. The more you ask, the more you will learn. I believe that being praised should only be for ones who deserve it. At my high school graduation, they were praising every student that graduated. There was even some that was short on credit, that begged to graduate, and was able to graduate. If failure comes, you live through it, learn, and grow from it
ReplyDeleteI agree. I never really thought the speeches ere there to help future adults follow a certain path after graduation. They're just a requirement for the ceremony.
DeleteThat's a good point. Life is not as easy as high school speeches make it seem. I agree that getting a job requires more than just good grades. Knowing the right people and having a particular skill or qualification for the job goes a long way.
DeleteThere is a time and place for celebrating accomplishments. I believe that at a graduation the best way to give a speech is in the words of a realist. There is nothing wrong with the truth because the truth really does set you free. It would be perfectly fine to tell students they would realistically experience a rollercoaster ride of emotions, choices, and times throughout the rest of their lives. There is no need to push self esteem by the speaker at the graduation. The speaker should simply speak motivate by giving the students a reality check of what the future may hold. I do not know how this generation of technology will deal with failures, maybe suicide, medication, alcoholism, or illegal substances. These are all common methods of coping with failure nowadays by so many. It is a sad truth that many high school students have not even taken one day out of their four years of high school to ponder what they will be doing immediately the summer after graduation. My sister is in high school so I ask her friends and most of them have no clue other than, party, enjoy summer, take a break, and maybe work part time, maybe. Take a break, you haven’t even begun life what are you breaking from is my response to many juveniles who haven’t the slightest idea of what the real world will bring. It is different with a college student because we all have our eye on the prize, doing what we love and being paid to do it. Most of the students who are at a college graduation have experienced real life from failing a class that cost’s twenty four hundred dollars and having to retake and repay for it, to the degree that they accomplished. Most college students are parents, wives, husbands, employees, employers, and they are where they need to be, so for these people all they need is a complement of their hard work and dedication.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Graduations should be uplifting and joyous but they should also have speeches that have emphasis on the reality of what is to come. Bumps, bruises. I mean life is a hell of a rollercoaster. I'm 23 so I haven't experienced much of what the world has to offer since I've literally just been in school all my life, but I know that life is difficult and the only way to successfully approach it is by being a realist. Things won't get handed to you and praise is few and far between. If you work hard, strive for your goals like you stated, people should deserve a compliment and uplifting words to remind them that they're doing a good job. I definitely agree with everything you said in your post :)
DeleteIn my honest opinion I don’t think the kids are listening to the speeches. Thinking back to my own graduation, I don’t even remember the names of the kids who gave the speeches. I don’t think that self-esteem has been pushed too far. I think people need the encouragement in my opinion. When accomplishing little or big tasks, positive encouragement can be a good thing. Most people, upon getting frustrated tend to shut down. They become angry and self-doubting. A friend of mine, often gets angry and does this. He’ll tell himself that he’s dumb and get angry at the problem that he faces. Without holding onto a positive aspect he’s completely bringing himself down. When I talk to him I feel as though our levels of self-esteem haven’t been pushed enough. If the generation is like him at all then their abilities to cope with failure isn’t looking too good. I think that the amount of praise received should have a minimum. I think that people should have something to work for. Getting praised for every little thing isn’t good. It desensitizes people to what it’s trying to accomplish. If kids got gold starts for being good, they’ll most likely behave but if they also get them for coming to school every day, lining up, and raising their had then they might slack in other areas. It’s the same in life.
ReplyDeletein my case that was true, i was just waiting for the whole ceremony to be overwith haha i dont even remember what anyone said that day
DeleteI believe that recent high school graduates do not fully understand the world that is waiting for them as soon as they receive that coveted diploma. I do believe that high school sugarcoats everything for students by making everything so easy. I know that in my case, I received a wake up call when I realized that I actually have to work in order to get a good grade in my college classes. There is nothing wrong with building a person’s self esteem, but the person must also realize that sometimes things wont turn out how they expect them to, and must be willing to accept failure at times. They must have or learn to develop a thick skin, and not give up when times are tough. We must not generalize and say that all these students aren’t prepared to deal with the “real world”; there are exceptions to this. However, it seems like some people aren’t willing to knock on more doors when the one they want to go through is shut on them.
ReplyDeleteI've been to two high school graduations, one being my own, and to be honest, I don’t remember what exactly was said in the speeches. But, I do remember all of the speeches sounding almost identical and being about how everyone is special in their own way. It has become a common practice in society today to push self esteem at everyone, especially the younger generation. Some parents refuse to see their child fail or be left out. I remember reading an article about a parent who got mad at the school because his child was not given a certain role in a school play. Giving unrealistic expectations to people can probably hurt self confidence. If someone is constantly told they are special and unique and that they are always winners, it can lead to overconfidence. Then, when that person inevitably fails at something, it is much more devastating since he or she was not expecting it. However, as some have pointed out, high self esteem can also help an individual overcome an impossible situation. Sometimes believing that you can do something can make it possible. Even with this benefit, high self esteem should not be pushed onto the younger generation. They should be taught that it is alright to fail once in a while and to learn from past mistakes.
ReplyDelete